Bench

Pipermon, a trading card game

ChewieGenXMillennTiePipe

Give me your paper for this paper.

cardgame

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Tuesday Morning Piperback

Jim Harbaugh

Piper is ready to come off the Bench and dig the team out of this hole.

Notable stats:

Interceptions: 0

Fumbles: 0

Points given to the other team: 0

Sacked: 0 times

Enjoys an ice cold milk with a juicy steak

 

HitchPiper’s Guide to the Galaxy

HitchPiper

For all the brave explorers: As far as traversing the Milky Way, make sure you wait for a ship at a bus stop with frequent traffic.

A Real Night Mare

NightMare

Hidey-ho, neighbor. No need to be frightened: this Night Mare on Elm Street just wants some candy.

CheaPiper Halloween Mask

For those price conscious fans*, don’t trust the Piper and Bench masks at the store. Simply print out whichever one you want to be and cut along the dotted lines. …

And add some type of string to attach it to your head.mask1

mask2

VamPipre

VamPipre

VamPipre says, “You catch more flies with a steak for the heart instead of a stake…for the heart.”

Shady Piper

PiperShade

Throwing shade is cool…

ShadePiper2

If you’re like a tree or an awning or something.

TemPipery Tattoo

bplogo

For all the real Piper fans, WE have an exciting offer to tell YOU about!

Life Hack: Piper Style #getonourlevel Sale!

Simply save the image posted above of Piper on bench to your computer, then open it up in whatever photo viewing software that may be enabled on your specific computing system device (usually, you can just double click on the .jpg [or .png] file that you have saved to your computer’s local hard drive, and it will open up your default photo viewing software*), and finally print out your very own TEMPORARY PIPER TATTOOS at NO** cost to you!

Piperazzi

Piperazzi

Just in time for two (or more*) days after the Emmys, Piper is offering a special “Red Carpet – Paparazzi Special” to anybody with enough cash** and enough gusto to think they can make it in Hollywood.

Pull up in style in this fancy Rolls Royce limousine. Meet Hollywood legends like James Bond. This package has it all.

Just come on down to Piper’s-Razzi located just off the interstate in beautiful Hollywood, Florida and tell ’em Piper sent ya.

Total Eclipse of the Bark

totalpiperclipse

“Post Giamatti, you can move the moon now. I’m over this eclipse – and I’m thinking we can get Truman* in a huge frenzy if we have another one, like, tomorrow. Right everybody? That would just freak him right out!”

 

*We are all Truman. You. Me. Your sister. The people tirelessly producing this thing called life.