dogs

SkipPiper

SkipPiper

There’s a new Skipper in tow- wait a minute.

Bamboo Bench, check our coordinates again. We may have taken a wrong turn in Albuquerque!

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ExPiperian

ExPiperian

Piper and the gents shut down their dark web browsers and start locking up their ExPiperian computers from deep within the underground: Basement Level 3.

Piper: “Now that we’ve successfully hacked every important number and maiden name in our competitor’s database, we can finally close up shop!”

Hentchman Gent #1: “But what about all of the kids who are just now getting credit scores?”

Piper: “Boot up the computers.”

OctoPipers

octopipers

“In a totally original and absolutely new idea, an OctoPiper seems to be taking over the southern San Francisco Bay area.” said the newscaster. “More at 6.”

Commissioner Paiper

Paiper

As your Federal Communications Commission Commissioner, and totally real human you guys, I just want to announce that this website you are currently viewing will never EVER* sell out to a higher media company that will change the content in any way that would delegitimize the truth that we represent.

Signed,

A. Paiper

A. Paiper is a subsidiary of Verizon Communications, LLC., Sinclair Broadcasting Inc., and sweet, delicious Reese’s peanut butter cups – what a great thing to eat any time.

Piper

Piper

“Look, lady, I just install the pipes. That’s what my ‘P’ stands for: Piper. You’re going to need to call a plumber. Actually, I think there are some brothers running a racket you can try.”

Tail of the Tape

tailofthetape

Fighting…out of the blue corner…standing at approximately two feet eight inches, Mad Dog Piiiperrr. Aaand her opponent fighting out of the red corner, in the first ever flora versus fauna extraaavaganza, standing five feet eleven inches, Mighty Oak Beeennnch.

Blow Popper

BlowPiper

Who knew that blowing up is so hard to do – well, besides those Macy’s-branded Thanksgiving paraders…

In-bench-tion

Inbenchtion

This robot dog invention will totally and completely replace the love and affection you get from a real dog!