Hi, I’m Gymillennial. Welcome to your first 2018 session at Globo-Joe. Here we’ll get you pumped, get you swole, but most importantly, get you woke. We have a number of facilities you can try – or skip – we. don’t. care. Just get out and Mehexercise!
Come down to our Noga studio. But, shh! The soothing muscle relaxation also means that our preferred customers (i.e. you) can take advantage of our memory foam yoga mats and our memory foam pillows in your very own way. Delightful.
Just a short Segway ride away we come to our downhill bike section. You really can ride these without handlebars – because they work off of gravity!
Our sauna is just your standard, ordinary steam room, which you might want to hit up after trying our…
Treadmeal station. Keep up the good work, Todd. Work those glutes – And those glutens!
But that’s our little corner of the gymniverse. Sign up today, because we don’t expect you to come back tomorrow!