The Piperest Show On Earth

Step right up! Step right up. Come and see the great attraction!


Ladies and germs, this may feel like just any old Piper post. But, ooo boy, I am here to Slash those illusions! Or is it allusions? [“Uh, why don’t you just look it up?” you say] Ah! What does it matter, I can’t hear you on this side of the screen anyway!

Alright, where was I? Again, rhetorical. There is no* way I could hear you. Right. Let me check my notes again. Ah, yes. So, in one of my previous occupational positions, [“What? Piper doesn’t get all her bills paid through blogging? Even though she begs for money or a sponsorship every five posts or so?” you ask credulously]…

Well, I said all of that to take you on a journey, really give you a chance to slow down and smell the roses. But then you had to say all of that stuff in the brackets, interrupting me, slowing us down even further. At least, this long form writing offers something for those of you, well, the two of you (Piper’s real owner and Mom), who have been there since the beginning to see how I’ve evolved as a writer (and how I don’t have to rely on puns for everything!**).

Woah. There I go rambling again. Just like in my darn tags. Like anybody will ever search up “There are exactly two types of jobs in Idaho” or “Name that bear stuff – there are 15!” and come across this little ol’ blog and get their yucks with my yums***.

So, long story short, that previous job I had introduced me to a writer friend who was crafting a story full of characters with intrigue and plot that involves action and adventure and maybe some mystery, and some character growth, and something about family I remember reading on his site, but it was a story that he wanted to share in a novel way: a book! And there I was, with my clearly superioristic artist ability (as shown via literally nearly every post on this site!), and clear mastery of the American-English language (including spelling and grammar), able to push pencils into lines and shapes.

And, so, with only this line and the little bit that goes to the next line as further ado, I did some early inspired artwork**** for him.


This is not a scene from his story, but a scene from that ever relatable Mike Judge tale, still relevant after all these years, starring the two main characters, Arnold and the Tower, as Peter and Lumbergh respectively.

In light of all of that, if you’re still here, first off, Kudos!, and second off, you should hop on over to his website, The Tower of Blue, and then probably get excited for his book!

And for you hipsters with your glasses and scarves who probably identify with Arnold and who also want to keep up, you can get updates via Twitter and Instagram.

Happy reading, happy keeping updated, and happy other stuff! If you don’t like my long, incoherent rambling form, it’s okay, I will only ever do this again if one of my movie scripts gets picked up by a major or minor studio or Netflix or any independent filmmaker.

P.S. My stuff is the stuff in pen drawn on notebook paper.


*You could reply via video, but I probably wouldn’t watch it.

**Except that one where I said “Slash illusions.” And that other one further down where I did the old switcheroo with “novel.”

***Is this something those positive-thinkin’ people still say?

**** They were doodles.


Commissioner Paiper


As your Federal Communications Commission Commissioner, and totally real human you guys, I just want to announce that this website you are currently viewing will never EVER* sell out to a higher media company that will change the content in any way that would delegitimize the truth that we represent.


A. Paiper

A. Paiper is a subsidiary of Verizon Communications, LLC., Sinclair Broadcasting Inc., and sweet, delicious Reese’s peanut butter cups – what a great thing to eat any time.

Apiper’s Fools


“Hey, gang, let’s see who’s really behind this ‘ (tell your friends!)’!” exclaimed Fred.

“GASP!” exclaimed the group.

“Jenkies! It’s Tom from Myspace!” exclaimed Velma.

“And I’m here to tell you YOU’VE been the fools to leave Myspace for Facebook! I just wanted to be everyone’s friend!” exclaimed Tom.

“Like, zoinks, man!” exclaimed Shaggy.


The Avengers - 2012

Nick Furiosa stands before her gathered team.

Nick Furiosa: “Team. I have mother%$*&in’ gathered you here today because you are the mother%$*&in’ best.”

Deadpiper: “Oooooo. She said a naughty word, eh.”

Nick Furiosa: “And we have this war coming up where I will need the mother%$*&in’ best.”

Spiperman: “Radical, dudes. I’m just so happy to be a part and to learn from some real heroes.”

Piper Potts: “But I’m not a superhero.”

Nick Furiosa: “But you are…super.”

Deadpiper: “Super#@!**%.”

Piper Quill to Piper Potts: “You like Huey Lewis and the News?”

Nick Furiosa: “Anyway, something something water. Let’s go team.”


St. Piperk’s Day


“Woah, Piperk, wake up, man. The holiday is over – you gotta get up and go to work!” said Leprechaun #1.

Leprechaun #2 followed up, “Yeah, and we’ll make sure these don’t go to waste.”

Leprechaun #1 chuckles, “Heh-heh, waste.”

Must be bad Pipe(r)s, We Sprang a Leak!


“Great Scott, Pipe-y, look at that date. We appear to have sprung too far forward!” exclaimed Bloc Brown. “And where did this robot come from?”

Candy Piper


“Excuse me, sir, but this was not the job I was trained at a respectable institution for.”



“Look, lady, I just install the pipes. That’s what my ‘P’ stands for: Piper. You’re going to need to call a plumber. Actually, I think there are some brothers running a racket you can try.”