Mapiper Syrup

MapiperSyrup

We only get syrup from the most delicious dogwood trees around. And just think of all the delicious things you can use this for: pancakes, flapjacks, hot cakes, silver dollars, griddle cakes, and spaghetti. Warm up with our syrup. Don’t trust our competiPipers over at Maple Piperup because they make swill.

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pome-gra-nate

Pipergranite

/ˈpäm(ə)ˌɡranət/ –

noun

  1. an orange-sized fruit with a tough reddish outer skin and sweet red gelatinous flesh containing many seeds.
  2. the tree that bears the pomegranate, which is native to North Africa and western Asia and has long been cultivated.
  3. a stone statue of the interior side of a hand.

 

2018 Resolutions: More Mehxercise

gymmehxercise

Hi, I’m Gymillennial. Welcome to your first 2018 session at Globo-Joe. Here we’ll get you pumped, get you swole, but most importantly, get you woke. We have a number of facilities you can try – or skip – we. don’t. care. Just get out and Mehexercise!

gymnoga

Come down to our Noga studio. But, shh! The soothing muscle relaxation also means that our preferred customers (i.e. you) can take advantage of our memory foam yoga mats and our memory foam pillows in your very own way. Delightful.

gymdownhillnohandlebars

Just a short Segway ride away we come to our downhill bike section. You really can ride these without handlebars – because they work off of gravity!

gymsauna

Our sauna is just your standard, ordinary steam room, which you might want to hit up after trying our…

gymtreadmealtodd

Treadmeal station. Keep up the good work, Todd. Work those glutes – And those glutens!

But that’s our little corner of the gymniverse. Sign up today, because we don’t expect you to come back tomorrow!

 

It’s beginning to look a lot like Piper

PiperXmas

Tuesday Morning Piperback

Jim Harbaugh

Piper is ready to come off the Bench and dig the team out of this hole.

Notable stats:

Interceptions: 0

Fumbles: 0

Points given to the other team: 0

Sacked: 0 times

Enjoys an ice cold milk with a juicy steak

 

Pipresidents of the United States of America

PiOTUSA

Welcome! And thank you! We are the Pipresidents of the United States of America! Not to be confused with the Presidents of the United States of America!

On vocals, we’ve got Tddy Rose and Ronald Ragin’ Against the Machine! On electric guitar, Abraham Linkin and Thomas Jefferson Airplane!

On acoustic, James K. Folk! George Washingboard taking care of the washing board with Alexander Jamilton jammin’ out for us at DJ!

And drumming up a storm, I’m Neil Pipeart on a subdued drum kit. On this Thanksgiving week show, we just want to say thanks for coming out! And…

Are y’all ready to ROCK?!

HitchPiper’s Guide to the Galaxy

HitchPiper

For all the brave explorers: As far as traversing the Milky Way, make sure you wait for a ship at a bus stop with frequent traffic.